My Eyes are Really Eye-LIke

I've got this thing. I can't stop looking at myeyes. Like, really looking. Deep. In the mirror. I think there's something in there. Right at the back. like a man or something. There's a man at the back of my eyes. And he doesn't say anything. he just looks.
I think Janice has been secretly dating Jamie, but I'm over it so I'm not going to say anything. K. D. Lang is so cool. Is she dead? Only a friend said 'No Musty, she's totally dead.' I can't find much about her. She's so cool. So is Ronald Raegan, remember him, the old president. I just found out off the internet that he was a MOVIE STAR. How weird is that? A movie star president, maybe he thought he was in a really long running sitcom. Like Cheers, but instead of a bar, he was in the Oval Office. Otherwise, why would he have killed so many people, unless he thought it wasn't real.

JANICE HAS LANDED

Oh, darling, darling Janice. You're here at last. Don't think much of your profile though. Where's your pic? I've got a few of you if you want to use one. I think pictures say a thousand words so maybe you could do with one. Seeing as you can barely string a sentence together. Nah! only JOKING!
It's nice to have company here. Anyone else wanna join the blog? Kev what about you? Or MAry mooo?
Come to think of it, you probably won't even read this. Maybe I should email.
Anyway, sun is shining and I've got to sit on my bony ass and write. How boring.
Bye.

Nips Again.

Being totally in Luuuuuve. I forgot to mention that Richard has three nipples. At first I thought it was a joke and tried to pull it off, but it wasn't. I figure it just makes him all the more special. Like a big candy-floss, but in an unusual colour, like mauve.
Just wanted to explain.
Bye.

Three Nips!? What's Going On?

Tuesday (Lemons on sale again)
Richard. Richard. RICHARD! He's so gorgeous. The other day he texted me just to say how nice I was. Aaaahhhh! We've got such a good relationship. I tell him everything and he listens. The other day I was telling him about my family and how my little brother had just started farting all the time. Like, when he's in my bedroom before I get home and then I'm there and there's like, this poo smell everywhere. And he didn't even bat an eyelid, he's so understanding. Then he said that he'd been having some problems with his brother...I woke up a half hour later and told him how great he was and that I feel so relaxed with him that I can fall asleep, just like that. And believe me, if you knew me, you'd realise how UNUSUAL that is (extra emphasis on the unusual there).
School's been shitty because me and Janice had a fight with Claire and Magnolia Desiree. All I did was ask them where they shopped because I thought Janice might like some of the stuff they wore. They looked at me like...like totally homophobically and when I told Janice she went up to their car and spat on the bonnet then rubbed it to spell 'Bitches'. We didn't realise their little brother was in the back seat. He's a dwarf and he was wearing a suit that matched the upholstery. Needless to say my Fashion & Photography lessons haven't been too great. Magnolia is queen of that particular class and she keeps sabotaging my crochet project. It's not fair. Still, I've got Richard to talk to and that's just...HEAVEN!
Bye.

They Call him Lady, but he ain't got no chin

Sunday (Gay Day. Thailand)
Today is the day. I've got just two days left to get this essay in. It's all about the industrial revolution and how soot and smog changed the way people dress. Did you know that people used to wear charcoal pants, just to keep the smells of the industrial revolution away. Weirdly enough it was also the first time soap was mass produced so you'd've thought people might start smelling better, but nope. All that smelly work down coalmines and butthole places like that meant people didn't have time to even buy soap, let alone use it.
I don't think I would've been very good in the industrial revolution. Maybe I could've become a rent-boy, just a poor little urchin selling his ass to buy moisturiser. Hmmmmm, I wonder if that would work now.
Mr Gilligan was hilarious Friday. He's grown this exceptional moustache. That's what he calls it 'My Exceptionsl Moooustache' he calls it. He went over to Vicky Studbaker during Math and saw that not only had she not worked out the circumference of her circle, but she'd confused pi with pie and started to work out the calorific value of a cheese and onion pastie. He wasn't happy and Vicky has this unfortunate tendancy to be shy, which can come across as her being stupid. So, anyways, Mr Gilligan just leans over her and rubs his moustache down her neck. Can you imagine!?! I had this shiver run right down my spine because I'm really empathetic sometimes and I just felt like wretching on behalf of Vicky. Everyone was so quiet the rest of class. But we're trying to persuade Vicky to take him to court for sexual harassment. Maybe she will, once she's stopped weeping. Poor little shy girl.

Bye