Fourteen Times I Tried Already

Mouths. Mouths. Mouths. That's all I see nowadays, everyone's just another mouth to feed. I took up a job down in Ricki's. It's disgusting. The boss has huge mamaries that just sweep everything off the counter when someone surprises her by wanting to order. They're like 'Uh, excuse me miss.' and she's like 'Oooh!' and sweep and there we are, everything on the floor. I have to go round and pick it all up. It's so demeaning. This one time the customer wouldn't get out of my way so I just licked my lips and knelt down right in front of him, he got out of the way then, I can tell yah.
So, the reason I'm working is because me and Janice have decided to go on a trip to Europe and I have to save up the money for the flight. I'm cacking my pants with excitement. We are going to have the BEST time. I've already seen this fabulous boutique hotel in London and we're going to travel to Edinburgh for the Edinburgher theatre festival. Also, I found out that Barcelona has some of the hottest men in the world just lying all over fountains and things, so that's a must. IIIII can't wait. Oh God, please let me go.
Janice is a lucky bitch. She found a stash of money under her (now enveloped) father's matress so she can just sit around in Ricki's watching me work while she eats her way to a slow and early death.
Does anyone have any suggestions of where we can stay in Paris. I thought we could camp under le tour eiffel, but Janice doesn't like the idea of a tent in case someone thinks it's one of her outfits.
love yah

M xx