Jamie and JANICE!

So, there I was, minding my own business, just talking to Jean-Paul about Mr Carter's toupe, when I saw Jamie coming out of the main block. I admit, I got real flustered when I saw him. I just get this feeling, down there, whenever he's near or even when he's not near, but I think about him. Like, on Sunday I was having coffee with my gran and she said something which reminded me of him, she said 'Oh, blarney' or somthing Irish like that, and I went hard, like real hard and I put my hand down, just to adjust it, you know, put it against my belly and she was going on about her new dishwasher and how Grandpa never puts the garbage out any more. Anyway, I started to touch myself, there in front of my gran. I'm the first to admit it's disgusting, but it was just the thought of Jamie and her saying 'Oh, blarney' and all that. But anyway, so Jamie comes out and I get a little tingle down my spine. Then he comes over and I'm like, Ahhhhh! (but only on the inside) and he said 'Hey! Wassup?' and I just tossed my head like a horse, a great bit horsey man and he said 'I'm taking Janice to the pictures on Tuesday night, she's cool'.
WHAT THE FU K IS GOING ON!
JANICE!
BITCH DIE BITCH DIE!
She is so going to get it when she comes round. I can't believe it, she knows me a Jamie are like, soul-mates AND she knows that I LOOOOOVE him. Oooooh. I'm so angry. I'm going to go and eat a Biryani.
Bye.